Levi Johnson is the kid who knocked up Sarah Palin's daughter. If you guys don't know much about him (why would you), let me fill you in. This guy is an American Hero. He should be on the next cover of Time, followed by a short stint on the Wheaties Box, Kellogg's Corn Flakes, or at least the side of the Kentucky Fried Chicken 8 piece leg and thigh bucket. Just look at what he has written in his about me section on Myspace.
"I'm a fuckin' redneck, who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes. But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some shit and just fuckin' chillin' I guess. Ya fuck with me I'll kick ass"
If that wasn't enough, his take on relationships is also hilarious. His profile lists him as in a relationship, but he is quick to remind you that "I don't want kids". HAHAHA too late asshole, now you are the poster child for baby daddy's everywhere. I dunno, maybe I'm just a surly, mean spirited, pessimistic black man, but am I the only one who thinks this whole situation is hilarious? I'm sure the baby will be taken care of (at least financially speaking), and at worst will be taken into the care of it's grandmother, who all in all seems like a nice woman ( or milf whichever you prefer). I think that allows me some room to laugh at the poor fate of this young guy. A few months ago the world was his oyster. I imagine he woke up one day, with his heart set on "shooting some shit " followed by an ample amount of reminding himself how much he never wanted kids, with his rag tag band of hockey playing, bike riding redneck friends. They probably went Ice fishing, and if time permitted, topped it off with a good round of "ass kicking", or moose tipping. Just when he thought this perfect day couldn't get any better, he probably ran into Sarah Palin's daughter. They probably made small talk for a while, until he asked what her plans were for later on in the evening; to which her reply was something along the lines of "Fuckin chillin I guess". If thats not a green light, I don't know what is. So as you can see, this kid went from probably having the best day of his life, to 9 months later being stuck with a kid he never wanted, and is now forced to receive awkward rub downs from john McCain till November To fully enjoy McCain in Levi in their akward glory, skip up to the 1 minute mark in the video(I wonder if McCain got paid after that? and was the happy ending included or is that an extra 5 spot?)
On the bright side of things, maybe after all these years Shawn Kemp can catch a break. If he's kept up his past rate of bastard fathering, He should have damn near 85 kids now, but I GUARANTEE YOU that not one of the baby's mothers will ever have a more important position in life, than manning the fry station at Burger King, or cleaning the ball pit at your local Chuckie Cheese. Which shows that he not only mastered the art of basketball, but also the art of being a dick.
Some of you might think at least Levi had the sense to impregnate a woman who is going some where in life, or at least her mother is. WRONG! it demonstrates what a jackass Levi is. He is blatantly exhibiting his lack of respect, and basic knowledge of all things righteous, sacred and player in this country. If you have ever met or observed a "baby's daddy" in the wild, you would know that they are a quiet species, who rarely like to be seen in public, especially with their own children. They prefer to come out at night, when they can avoid being seen by the baby's mother, her angry family members, individuals seeking to collect child support payments, or perhaps a game of ping pong or catch with the kid they left behind. When Shawn Kemp wants to abandon his kids, all he has to do is pack a bag. If Levi ever wants to do it, he could potentially have to get by the secret service. Think about it, if McCain wins, that means Sarah Palin wins, which in turn means LEVI LOSES. Don't vote for Barack Because you like him, Don't vote against McCain because you dislike him. Make your vote count, and place a vote for Levi. Make a vote for baby daddy's everywhere, it's time to say that enough is enough. He is probably being forced to do all types of shit He doesn't like, like playing with his kid, hugging his now unwanted, ball and chain baby's mom after sex, and reading. This leaves NO TIME for kicking ass, snowboarding, or fuckin chillin'. do the right thing this November, take a stand, and make your vote count
